Saturday, 19 September 2015

Mixed emotions

Dear Charlie, today we went to Callums birthday and Patsy told me I brought Callum his peppa pig house for his first birthday and I felt sad as you were alive then.
I did some more of your room when I got back. I couldn't bare to do any more of your clothes or take your uniform away so I will leave that for another time. I cuddled your clothes especially the yellow t shirt and black fila jumper we got you whilst you were having treatment to keep you warm as that silly treatment made you put on weight, you hated the way your hair and body changed we still don't share public photos of you looking that way as I know you were so conscious of it. I have made a special bag of special clothes I need to keep forever. Your first Liverpool kit was there, you had one Arsenal and one Liverpool one haha cheeky boy. Your brown and cream reversable next jumper that zipped up reminded me if happy times when you were well. Hey Char you remember Adam Sandler fims ? You loved them so much Happy Gilmore, The zohan, Billy Madisson, big daddy and we watched that the other day your guys loved the wee wee bit. When you were very ill and couldn't leave your bed anymore you used to watch your mini DVD player one of the last films you watched was bed time stories. Remember that awful woman from the charity ? They did good getting Adam Sandler to call you but didn't respect our wishes at all, when we asked them to bring Christmas to you early and the real Santa came she said in front of you he had some funny looks driving down the M25 silly woman, well I guess you know now he wasn't the real Santa anyway Charlie, the real Santa is big and cuddly and fat with rosie cheeks and a warm heart. I am giving some of your clothes to your brother. He is missing you very much especially lately as he asks after you. Remember when daddy used to say he was greedy and ate the Mac Donalds sign and you used to laugh your head off. Uncle Nat came around earlier and your brother was so happy it reminds me of how you loved your uncle's you grew up with them and loved them a lot. One day after you were gone uncle Chris was laying on the bed when callum was about 2 and callum said daddy Charlie is on your back was it you Charlie ? Uncle Chris got goose bumps
You really loved Spiderman remember the the DVD case of MJ ? Spiderman 2 haha Clair knows about that, hey remember you wanted a BBq ? You were finished treatment and Clair came and was very silly and made you laugh and jade and Amber came and so did Nanny and the boys, you and Amber writing words on your ds and sending to each other. We tried to bring the park to our house so you could play. We did a play house and sandpit
I miss you Char x

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