We made it through to November and now we have to make it through this month. Such an incredibly sad time of the year. It's always there but I've been better than usual this week I said it could change in a matter of minutes or days and today the switch, yes the incredible sadness.
Why did you have to go ? Am I a bad person ? What did I do wrong ? Why did you get that horrible illness when there are so many bad people in the world ?
I remember you loved mars bars. We went out yesterday and I remember you dressed as a werewolf and howled out of the car window as we drove to nannys house. I remember you picked the warewolf suit from Sainsburys. A little boy knocked last night and he looked ill he had lost his hair and I wanted to say something but I couldn't I was screaming inside I know I know. They must have thought I was rude as I was staring, I'm sorry I couldn't help it it wasn't rude, they had no idea why. It's not often we see children going through similar to you, so I ask again why you Char ?
I don't know. You loved our park bushy park, it was your favourite lots of people know about it now so I don't make it there much, but I should go.
Your baby sister said I want Charlie to come back, today, we now have to change the subject as she gets upset when we try to explain you can't come back.
I feel like I can't get excited for things I just need to get through the next few weeks
Love you Char