Friday 12 August 2016

Dear Char
I feel so sad. I'm trying so hard to make it better. I'm sorry if I let you down. I just feel really sad. I try not to think now, I try to think of other things instead and then I feel guilty for it.
I'm trying to do another charity ball again in your memory hope it works out and helps. Then I wonder why I am bothering with all the stress and then I feel guilty again.
I wonder if I should cancel it then I feel guilty again. I feel stressed out and really tired. I miss you.
I wish you could tell me one of your funny jokes again.
I wonder how we came to this ?
I wonder where you are. I am in your bedroom now
I feel happy now in here and I feel safe.
I feel like people don't care anymore they feel like so much time has passed and they don't ask anymore.
We will always care forever and ever and ever
Love you my eldest big boy forever 7 in my heart
Love you x

2 comments:

  1. God Karen I was just looking for the link for the tickets and saw this. My heart breaks for you. Not just for the loss of your little Charlie but that you have these additional feelings along side your grief when all you are trying to do is help other people who have and will be diagnosed with this awful disease. You shouldn't be feeling stress over this ball, you shouldn't be feeling let down and above all you shouldn't be feeling like people no longer care because five years have passed. It makes me feel sad/mad to think you feel this way xxx

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  2. God Karen I was just looking for the link for the tickets and saw this. My heart breaks for you. Not just for the loss of your little Charlie but that you have these additional feelings along side your grief when all you are trying to do is help other people who have and will be diagnosed with this awful disease. You shouldn't be feeling stress over this ball, you shouldn't be feeling let down and above all you shouldn't be feeling like people no longer care because five years have passed. It makes me feel sad/mad to think you feel this way xxx

    ReplyDelete