Dear Charlie

Do you remember when I used to cuddle you in one arm and your sister in the other and I was pregnant we used to say where will baby go when he’s out? Like I didn’t have an extra arm. We used to sit for ages just cuddling. 

I’ve had a rough year, probably the hardest since losing you but I’m still fighting. I bet you’re so disappointed in all this that’s happened and I hate when people say I’m strong they have no idea! I always carry on because I have to I’m trying my best. 

No one could love their kids more than I do. You were so precious even to give you medicine. I didn’t even like to give you Calpol very often and then all that happened and I lost control and suddenly you were having medicines and treatments and I had no choice but to trust they were doing the right thing by you.

I just had a random memory do you remember when we went to crews hill ? You used to like it there. I want to do something special for you soon, just so you know even though I haven’t done any charity events lately it doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about you all the time and we will be doing one soon. I promise I’ll get round to it.

Im so tired all the time Char 

The other day when I was thinking of you when all those songs came on that u and grandad liked randomly was that you guys? I believe it was

I do hope you’re okay

Love you Char to the moon and back x